Leaving my job as a Headteacher of a Special School was an emotional journey. I had very mixed feelings and a sense of letting people down with a mix of fear. I was very concerned about losing my identity and sense of fulfilment after being in education for just under 30 years. My passion for learning and making a difference was still my heartland.

What Was Driving Me

I spent a year rationalising my thoughts and feelings to develop an understanding of what was driving me. I profiled myself to help guide me.

1. My younger self – I explored who I was before entering teaching. I listed my hopes and dreams, what I enjoyed, and pictured the world as I saw it then.

2. My teaching career – I listed all the best moments, noted the students and teachers who had inspired me and those I had inspired. I identified my highlights and lowlights, the aspects of my work that energised me, and the areas that diminished me.

3. My values- I mapped all the things  I hold important including, the joy of learning, creativity, nurturing individuality, risk-taking, integrity, and having a real purpose.

4. My older self – I took stock of who I was now. I discovered I retained many of the qualities of my younger self but I also recognised they had become hidden and silenced by the pressure of my working role.

5. My desires- I wanted to feel my good was good enough, use my skill and experience to help others, I needed to be free from the politics of leadership.

6. My demons- I listed my fears, I can’t let people down, my school needs me, am I a failure if I leave, what if I can’t get a job that satisfies me, what if no one wants me.

I came to understand  I was still the same person as my younger self, just a little lost. I still had a lot I wanted to achieve. My barrier was a sense of fear and guilt. I had a desire to live my best life.

Understanding Your Drivers

Once I understood my drivers I approached leaving teaching as I would a job. I committed one evening a week to exploring and researching the possibilities. I updated my CV, I joined several web-based job directories, I asked for help, and I leaned on friends, not in education, for advice.

Every week I recorded my progress against an action plan, setting targets for the week ahead.  When I saw a job that interested me I applied not concerning myself with ‘will they want me?’ instead I focused on ‘does it interest me?’  After several months I took the plunge and handed in my notice one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. There were tears and some sleepless nights. I became focused and more determined, too late to turn back.

Be Persistent

I needed to be persistent and resilient for job offers to come in. I eventually accepted work with Coventry University as a visiting Assessor for teacher trainees and a freelance role with TTC delivering correctional courses for offenders.

Both roles offered me great fulfilment and used my skills and experience. I’m still learning how to manage my work diary. At the start, I accepted more work than I could truthfully manage and had to work all hours to deliver on my commitments. I was initially worried about declining offers. I was concerned that if I said no, I might not be asked again.

I’m slowly growing in confidence and learning how to manage my diary more effectively. It’s taken a while to get used to being self-employed and not salaried. If I don’t work I don’t get paid! Good financial planning has been key, I invested in professional advice for tax returns, building my pension, and long-term savings.

No Regrets

A year on, I have no regrets.

I work just as hard as I ever did, the responsibility to gain work is all mine but the pressure is very different.

I feel free to make my own choices, I’m extremely grateful to still work within education, doing what I do best.

It’s an honour to support the next generation of teachers and a real pleasure to be part of their journey. I still believe that teaching is one of the greatest jobs you can have. I no longer wrestle with the guilt of leaving. I focus on all I gave and how rewarding my time was, the other stuff is just white noise and it doesn’t serve to focus on it.

Life is a book with many chapters, it is okay to turn the page, pick up your pen and write your new script. My advice would be don’t spend time worrying about the ‘what ifs’ focus on researching the possibilities, try and keep a mindset of ‘I can’ not ‘I can’t’, keep an action plan, set time aside to act on it, and get professional advice to review your finances. It’s not an easy journey but the ones worth doing never are.

Sarah Hutt

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